I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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