Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
