yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
