the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
