We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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