Tell her she can't have a vagina
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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