dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
