i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
