No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She said her name was "party"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
