My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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