i think i have herpe
just one?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
