your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
