Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
