is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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