idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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