Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
