Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
