How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
