On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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