I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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