White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
