trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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