If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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