so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
