This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
