He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
