i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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