How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
