i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
