As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
