apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This is classic penis vs brain.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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