This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
