Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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