Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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