I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
