All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
