We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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