either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
