I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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