she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
