Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
