Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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