just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
