Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
