his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
