Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
