The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
