it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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