I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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