this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
