If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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