I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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