I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
