Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
