so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
