I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can't turn off my feet"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
