Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
